"Looks like you're up a bit."

This is what the guy at Weight Watchers says if you gain. He doesn't really look you in the eye, and says this nice little phrase to make you not feel too badly, although it doesn't really work. UP?!?!? I am up. And this is why I need this blog. For a week JUST like this one! My weight this morning was:

197.4

And here's why: Almost an entire bag of Cadburry Mini eggs, trying out a recipe for Applebee's Blondie (SOOO GOOD!!!), a batch of pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, two batches of homemade bread, which meant, for me, too much toast and butter and honey. Also, a whole bunch of eating way too much at meals, along with fries and grilled cheese. There's my accountability, and it's not pretty. The Costco Magazine that came yesterday asks the question for their monthly poll: Is obesity a disease? Although I know this is a heated subject, for me the answer is NO! When I choose to stuff my face with chocolate (and other delicious things) I also choose to not lose weight/ gain weight. My trickiest thing is to have one cookie and then be done. I feel like food is like alcohol would be for me if I drank it. Sometimes its better just to stay away from the stuff, rather than "just have a little." I have a hard time stopping. This doesn't mean its impossible. It just is crazy hard!

SO! If I have my meals planned, I do a lot better, and don't go crazy with quickly convenient options, which are almost always not good for me. So tonight i am going to make my FAVORITE baked chicken fajitas, recipe below. I need to plan the rest of the week, and I will report next time. In the meantime, happy, healthy eating to all!

BAKED CHICKEN FAJITAS

1 pound boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into thin strips

1 can (10 1/2 oz) diced tomatoes with green chilies (RoTel Tomatoes- mild)

1 medium onion, cut into thin strips (I always use more onion!)

1 medium green pepper and red pepper, each cut into thin strips

2 Tbls canola oil

1-2 tsp chili powder (I use one tsp- the husband doesn't like the taste so much)

2 tsp ground cumin

1/4 tsp salt

12 flour tortillas (6 inches), warmed

In a 9x13 pan coated with nonstick cooking spray, combine the chicken, tomatoes, onion and peppers. combine the oil, chili powder, cumin and salt. Drizzle over chicken mixture; toss to coat. Bake, uncovered. at 400 degrees for 25-40 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink and vegetables are tender. Spoon onto tortillas; fold in sides. YIELD: 6 servings

NUTRITION FACTS:two fajitas equlas: 350 calories, 8 g fat, 5 g fiber, 27 g protein

Note: The original recipe says to drain tomatoes, which does make for a less liquidy final product, but I've found the liquid from the tomatoes really adds to the roasted flavor. Just use a slotted spoon to serve, and its not a big deal. Hope you like these!

March 24 Weight

Okay, here it is. My first weigh in to help me feel accountable in this journey, so I won't go eat all of the Chips Ahoy Cookies that are in our cupboard right now. And the number is. . .

195.7

My weight is now under 200 lbs. It hasn't been for a very long time. I topped the scale at 225 lbs when I was 12- 13 years old. I remember walking home from 7th grade, wondering if I should just eat cookies the rest of my life, because I was just so large anyway. What would it matter? But I believe in agency, and I knew my choices made a huge difference in who and what I became. So, I brought a sandwich, carrots and an apple to school everyday, and slowly maintained my weight, rather than gaining any more. I managed to get down to 194 lbs in my last two years of college, through Weight Watchers and running, and I haven't been lower since. After I got married, I hardly exercised and made way too much fattening food, and over 1 year gained all the way back to 225 lbs. Talk about fluctuation!

THEN came preganncy. I don't count that time period in my mental statistics,. Since its the only time in life when you are actually encouraged to gain weight, and your body does crazy stuff throughout that period, it seems very separate to me. Maybe it shouldn't. Anyway, I got up to 259 lbs. Post baby, I couldn't get under 239 to save my life, and so I joined Weight Watchers again.

This time, through the Core plan, I truly started to change. I changed the way I cook, which was the most powerful part of the Core Foods for me. Over a year's time, I lost 40 lbs, so when I got pregnant with our second baby, I weighed 199 lbs. This was awesome for me! Not as low as I had hoped for, but under that 200 lb. mark. With this baby, I only gained 30 pounds. I have been losing the weight on my own this time, and am down lower than where I started before baby #2.

The mental game for me start here, because I literally don't remember when I've been lower than this weight. Thus, in my head, I wonder if I CAN get lower. Logically I know I can, but mentally, it's completely new territory. Thus the blog. I need to record my weight, thoughts, and successes/ failures to help me do something I haven't done before. Just like in all things, I will trust that as I take care of my body and eat healthful foods, the fruits of my labor will come. I totally believe in the Law of the Harvest, so let work begin!

Couch to 5K

I love the idea of being a runner, and I have been in various points of becoming one for the past 10 years. I ran a half marathon in 2004, with my honey, and since I had trained up to around 9 miles, that is all I could muster. I painfully walked the remainder of the race, learning about the value of training correctly as I staggered in. Two babies later, I am determined to be a runner again. I am currently following a great 5K training plan, called "The Couch to 5K Running Plan". I have never followed it completely, trying to push ahead and go faster instead of letting my body adjust slowly. This time I am using the entire plan as a Personal Progress Project for the Knowledge value. ( I am working on Personal Progress as a Young Woman leader.) It will definitely take over 10 hours:-)

I am currently on week 4 of the training program. Today, after a 5 minute warm-up walk, I jogged 3 minutes, walked 90 seconds, jogged 5 minutes, walked 2 1/2 minutes, jogged 3 minutes, walked 90 seconds, and finished with a 5 minute jog. Each week brings more jogging, less walking, and I wasn't sure how today would go, jumping from 9 minutes of running last week, to 16 minutes this week. It went great. I felt good. I am running faster because of this training schedule. My philosophy before, on every race I have ever run, is to just slow down and go. I could probably run the entire 5K right now, with a 14 minute mile. But I am using my BOB and the bike computer my husband attached to it to monitor distance and speed, and I am pushing myself to run between a 10 and 11 minute mile. This is hard for me, but today I did it. And that is why I run. Because we can do hard things. Running is hard, and I can do it. Not always great, and not always far, but I can run.

May 15th is 5K race day. 32 minutes is the goal.

Accountability

I am creating this blog as a tool to help me feel accountable in the weight loss journey I am traveling. I have been traveling it a long time. If this blog can somehow help others on the same road, then it will be all the better.

I will be posting my "weekly weigh-in" every Wednesday. I currently can't afford to pay for Weight Watchers, (which, by the way, is a great program that totally works,), and it was always knowing that I had to get on the dang scale that helped me stop shoving food in my mouth. So, I figure posting my weight online will potentially do the same thing. Except it won't be just one nice lady standing at the scale that sees my weight, it will be anyone who clicks here. Intense. I don't anticipate anyone yelling, "free willy" like in Junior High, but bring it on. I won't be this weight forever, and it is what it is.

I will faithfully post my weight each Wednesday, and hopefully also post Core recipes(the Weight Watchers eating plan that I love!!!) (the same as what is currently called "filling foods" and very similar to the Set Point plan, although I won't be posting any of those points), my running /exercise progress, cool CrossFit info (my husband's obsession), inspirational thoughts, and memories that are helpful in the journey.

There is a large chance that no one besides myself will ever read this. That is just fine. But if anyone who needs a little help in this difficult journey ever does find this blog , and they can find support here, then it will make the time worth it all the more. As it is, this will literally be my weight loss journal on my final leg of the journey.

Happy and Healthy Eating