March 24 Weight

Okay, here it is. My first weigh in to help me feel accountable in this journey, so I won't go eat all of the Chips Ahoy Cookies that are in our cupboard right now. And the number is. . .

195.7

My weight is now under 200 lbs. It hasn't been for a very long time. I topped the scale at 225 lbs when I was 12- 13 years old. I remember walking home from 7th grade, wondering if I should just eat cookies the rest of my life, because I was just so large anyway. What would it matter? But I believe in agency, and I knew my choices made a huge difference in who and what I became. So, I brought a sandwich, carrots and an apple to school everyday, and slowly maintained my weight, rather than gaining any more. I managed to get down to 194 lbs in my last two years of college, through Weight Watchers and running, and I haven't been lower since. After I got married, I hardly exercised and made way too much fattening food, and over 1 year gained all the way back to 225 lbs. Talk about fluctuation!

THEN came preganncy. I don't count that time period in my mental statistics,. Since its the only time in life when you are actually encouraged to gain weight, and your body does crazy stuff throughout that period, it seems very separate to me. Maybe it shouldn't. Anyway, I got up to 259 lbs. Post baby, I couldn't get under 239 to save my life, and so I joined Weight Watchers again.

This time, through the Core plan, I truly started to change. I changed the way I cook, which was the most powerful part of the Core Foods for me. Over a year's time, I lost 40 lbs, so when I got pregnant with our second baby, I weighed 199 lbs. This was awesome for me! Not as low as I had hoped for, but under that 200 lb. mark. With this baby, I only gained 30 pounds. I have been losing the weight on my own this time, and am down lower than where I started before baby #2.

The mental game for me start here, because I literally don't remember when I've been lower than this weight. Thus, in my head, I wonder if I CAN get lower. Logically I know I can, but mentally, it's completely new territory. Thus the blog. I need to record my weight, thoughts, and successes/ failures to help me do something I haven't done before. Just like in all things, I will trust that as I take care of my body and eat healthful foods, the fruits of my labor will come. I totally believe in the Law of the Harvest, so let work begin!